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Holiday Cheer and Fun With Food

Christmas kisses

Just opened the last bag of Holiday Kisses. We picked up a handful of these on a luckily timed trip to Target; they had just been marked down about 80 percent. Cheap, cheap, cheap!

And using my clever consumption method, I stretch each bag to the max. It’s a diet trick, too.

Unwrap two pieces and insert in mouth. Hold to roof of mouth and allow to melt.

Nits not ewey nu nalk win nuu nu nis, nut wa noclic laps amut nen nu fiteen mints as nit mets so nuu eet liss.

That’s my only strange eating habit. No, wait. I also like to bite Tostitos tortilla chips into the shape of Minnesota.

original chip at angle

That’s it. Really. Happy Holidays – winter and summer!

The Sentimental Season

hog dog

I really don’t know how to grade this.

Technical fail: Hot dogs have all kinds of not-good-for-you things in them. Ingredients and whatever that one is really not supposed to eat, or at least eat in very limited quantities. And I don’t really like hot dogs except at this time of year.

Heartfelt pass: It’s a combination of season and sentimentality. Grilled hot dogs in the summer with the grand trio of yellow mustard, ketsup, and relish. Can’t say no. And I’m just snobby enough to insist on Hebrew National (Costco!).

And last week while I was in Chicago, I made the pilgrimage to Portillo‘s and did the full-on Chicago-style. So the annual rise above the recommended levels of hot dog consumption has begun. When my mother was elected village clerk (very much a part-time position), I was a pre-schooler. She took me to the office on Fridays, and we’d often go to Portillo’s for lunch. I distinctly remember standing at the window of the ‘dog house’ to place my order.

The nostalgia cools as soon as the days begin to noticeably shorten; I rarely have a hot dog between August and May. Until then, I’ll just enjoy.

 

Well I Never!

A couple more food grades this week. First up: The rice cooker.

Rice Cooker

A slightly begrudging pass.

Countertop appliances must earn a place in my kitchen. Even pots and pans beyond the basic array are subject to extreme scrutiny. Space and funds are limited, cooking habits rule; behaviors of high frequency do not require new equipment; minor adaptations for one-offs are encouraged. Specialized items must top a pretty high bar.

The rice cooker wasn’t even under consideration. But the hubs saw a category review on America’s Test Kitchen and got it in his head. . . I listened, nodded, and waited. The interest did not pass or even fade. The arguments presented were reasonable. The dogs eat a lot of rice; we should/could eat more rice.

Yes, the dogs were the turning point. Dear Liza was a chubby puppy before she came to us. Her weight and exercise levels are now in the healthy range, but she maintains her exceptional food motivation. Adding rice to her dinner fills her up efficiently. Naturally Iko expects rice too; animals understand food equality. So every week we made two batches of rice in the microwave. Efficient but noisy and a little messy, and more time than I’d like to devote to the task. However overall much less muss and fuss than the stovetop method. The result was a steady diet of rice for the dogs but none for us; it rather lost its appeal.

The hubs extolled the virtues, ease, and low price of a rice cooker. For 30 bucks at Target, meh, give it a try. The ease of filler ‘er up (a week’s worth in one batch), push a button, and walk away was admittedly appealing.

We still haven’t made much rice for us. In time, perhaps. When not in use, it’s stored in the basement and presence is practically everything.

Oh, and the stars aligned on this right before the hubs marked another trip around the sun. Happy Birthday, dear! Shall I put a bow on it?

 

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Food Pass-Fail, The Hubs Edition

Is there an expiration date on this? she said accusingly. Couldn’t find one on this package of spring roll wrappers. These have been in the fridge for literally, actually, factually for more than a year.

Eliminating food waste is a big thing here; the conversation occasionally gets harsh.

An interwebs search revealed no expiration date on this foodstuff. Well, does it qualify as a foodstuff or just an edible mix of ingredients? That’s a slightly disconcerting if accurate thought.

More interwebs searching brought him to Martha and a doable recipe. Chinese cabbage, rice noodles, and onions. Not really a meal, but accomplishes the desired effect of using up the ancient spring roll wrappers.

Wrapping, it appears, is a little trickier than he anticipated.

spring roll fail

Don’t skip the egg wash to seal. This one just fell apart in the pan. Fail!

Spring roll pass

When the wrapper held, he achieved a nice crispy, crunchy wrapper. Pass!

No, we not buying another package of spring roll wrappers so he can practice.

Food Pass-Fail 5, the Trifecta

Wrapping up with Pass, Fail, and Incomplete.

My relationship with complexity pegs the extremes. The idea of immersing myself in a difficult task is so deeply appealing. The reality of doing so, meh, not always so much.

Cooking is a prime example.

Ice cream

Pass.

The ice cream is a sure and solid A; missed an A+ for flavor strength.

The plan is to serve up only homemade ice cream summer. For ease I used Vanilla Bean Paste from the ab-fab local spice shop Allspice). Guessed at the amount and went too light. Easy enough to improve next time.

Even did a by-chance science experiment. Chilled one cooling tub in the upstairs freezer (not as cold) and one in the chest freezer downstairs (deep freeze). The churning took at least 5 minutes less in the super-chilled tub. But the less-cold tub added more volume with the extra time and has a lighter feel. Also, colder-tub batch chilled about 4 hours; the other batch chilled overnight before putting it in the ice cream maker.

Overall, worth the time and effort.

Rye bread. Incomplete.

Caraway seed

Finding the right flour required visits to several stores, and not sure what I bought is the best choice. For a first go, ordering a big bag off the interwebs seems folly.

Then the weather went chilly so starting the starter in a cold house seemed an exercise in futility. Mission temporarily scrubbed.

But a bowl is on the counter so that qualifies for an incomplete.

I’ll end this project on a glorious, uncomplicated fail:

Chip shelf

Lest anyone mistake us for food purists of any stripe,  please note the above. Our love of Tostitos chips knows no bounds. The only thing we’re fussy about is the variety: Restaurant style, please! Whenever they go on sale (3 for $10 or the ever-coveted, rarely seen 3 for $9), we stock up. Clearly there was a recent sale, so the hubs added a shelf in the basement specifically to hold the bounty. Even considering unfailingly regular consumption, this perfect corporate concoction of oil, salt, and probably a touch of sugar does not lose its appeal. And it comes in Party Size — Cheers!

Food Pass-Fail 4

Puff Pastry Waffle

Pass.

A wicked, slightly naughty A for Puff Pastry Waffles!

In a bit of interwebs serendipity, I came across Puff Pastry Waffles as we plowed through a  Costco box of standard-issue waffles. If you ever want to take the joy out of a fun food, buy it in bulk. Waffles are a favorite, but as we approached number 72, boring became the operative word. Yes, just leaving them uneaten in the freezer was an option except for the room even the unboxed bags took up. Just be rid of them!

My love of waffles was reignited upon seeing the video. And the cosmos has saved me from myself: Our Costco does not sell puff pastry. Amen.

Food Pass-Fail 3

Asian slaw

Pass.

Asian Slaw gets a solid C. The hubs thinks it’s a B, possibly B+ but that’s grade inflation to me.

Tasty, pretty easy to make, reliable results. That defines middle ground, thus the middle grade.

If you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy a head of cabbage.

Food Pass-Fail 2

jicama

Fail. Spectacular fail!

A frequently cited rule for buying produce: Don’t buy the biggest d@#n one. Since this was an impulse purchase and I’ve never bought one before, I can kinda forgive myself . . .

Tough, fibery, nothing close to the jicama I’ve enjoyed in salads at restaurants.

Bonus fail: Apply cider vinegar is not the correct flavor profile. After whacking through this monster and almost removing a finger tip while peeling it, the marinade was happenstance at best. Not awful but not worth repeating.

I’ll give myself a D for trying and, since the unmarinated half went in the compost pile, environmental stewardship. The local woodchuck or a battery of squirrels no doubt had a good crunch.

A retry is in order but first a definite plan of action.

Food Pass-Fail 1

A week ago I spent part of Sunday afternoon watching The Great British Baking Show and knitting. More about knitting another time.

This past Sunday, perhaps more appropriately, I watched three episodes of TGBBS while baking cookies and a cake. The local PBS station probably calls it a marathon; more likely it’s a choice made to fill air time.

Clearly we’re set for a bit over a week with the hubs love of sweets, and I’m not joking. We might get two weeks, but that’s the longest it will stretch.

Poppy seed cake

Made me think it’s time for a review and rating of recent kitchen efforts.

This is a pass!

This poppy seed cake gets a solid B. With the cookie reserve, the day’s efforts get a B+. Maybe an A-. There’s a lot of dishes involved in the prep and I did clean up rather than my usual I-cooked-you-clean-up approach. That includes the cookie sheets for bonus points.

Poppy seed cake is on constant rotation here; the hubs pines and whines if he thinks it’s been too long since a cake graced the counter. He’s been known to employ the sad face in the grocery store to force the issue.

This time I’m patting myself on the back for exceptional texture and spot-on baking time. While mixing I feared the egg whites might not have been whipped enough (nothing like a beaten-to-infinity foam), but the results speak otherwise.

 

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